Sunday Mass: my first time acknowledging the presence of Jesus.

Sunday, July 12, 2020

Sunday, July 12, 2020, was my first time experiencing Mass on a Sunday morning and my first time acknowledging the fact of the Real Presence of the Eucharist. I have experienced Mass in the past, throughout high school in the gym four times a year, I have gone to Saturday night Mass with my boyfriend as well. This Sunday Mass, however, was different. Even with my past as a choir member at my high school, I have always felt uncomfortable in the Catholic Church especially during Mass, due to my Protestant background.

In school, I sang the parts of the mass so I can follow along easily, what I struggle with the most is the faith that is involved in truly believing in the Real Presence of the Eucharist. Knowing and understanding, and having faith does not always go hand in hand. I have read John 6 I understand that the Greek word for eating in that passage meant chewing and knawing, yet I felt nothing in the presence of the LORD. I was, and am, so disappointed. The time leading up to Mass was full of anticipation, I could not wait to feel the presence of my Lord in such a tangible way, for Him to truly be in the room with me whether I was able to take part or not. So, my complete lack of emotion toward the Sacrament was surprising to me.

I have been to Mass once since then, this past Sunday, and I was far more comfortable than the previous week. I know that once I am more accustomed to the process of Mass and continue to pray for faith in the Eucharist I will begin to feel more reverence and peace at Mass. My boyfriend is also supporting me in my walk in faith and he is encouraging me to pray and teaching me more about mass to feel less awkward and more confident in the replies and the different traditions that I am not familiar with in the formal worship setting. I am truly blessed.